tuesday night our community group met, and although there were a few of us who were sick and feeling under the weather, we were eager for fellowship after a weekend apart. for whatever reason, only a few people had been able to meet with each other outside of the group one on one, and we were craving quality time.
as we all arrived, we were expectant of what God would do during that time. we worshipped and prayed, and shared stories from our adventures of the last few days since we'd met, and laughed up a storm as our joy in seeing each other again poured out of us.
it was good times with good people, and just what we all needed.
we discussed some amazing stuff in the Word, prayed for those of us who were sick, and we all loved seeing how God -yet again- drew us closer together. as the night went on, people filtered in and out as usual as we wound down... and then something interesting happened... i got a text.
meagan had left a bit earlier, and shortly after she left she texted me and said she was coming back because she was heavyhearted and realized she needed to share what she was going through instead of trying to deal with it alone.
we started praying.
a short time later, meagan walked in again and sat down on the couch.
(due to the fact that her vulnerability played a huge part of this night, and i would never want to discouage that by sharing it without her knowledge... its important for me to point out that meagan has given me permission to share the details below. okay, thanks. keep reading.)
in tears, meagan shared with the group that she lost her dad when she was 11 or 12. he went into a diabetic coma and collapsed. because of his death, from a young age she has always struggled with her fear of abandonment, and specifically the fear that she may one day lose the rest of her family. at the young age of 20, these fears still plague her...
she shared that her fear in these areas holds her back in many ways, and it paralyzes her ability to just "let go and let God" so to speak. constant fear of the "what if's" in life is a depressing and burdensome load to carry for her. to be able to trust that the ones she loves are in God's capable hands has always been a struggle for her. her fear has poured over into her dreams, and turned into nightmares... and on tuesday she was overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion.
she very literally couldn't keep it all inside anymore...
the previous saturday, for the first time in her life, she had come face to face with a man at the hospital where she works, who was on his death bed in a diabetic coma... just like her dad once was. her fears escalated and poured over from personal fear into confusion about her place at the hospital, and if that was where she was meant to be.
we were able to affirm to her that she is a light in the darkness... in a sorrowful place where she faces pain and discomfort and death... and even miraculous healing, at times... she is the light in that place. God has equipped her with supernatural strength of mind and emotion to be able to handle the sorrow she deals with on a daily basis.
she is the one who walks in a room at that hospital and brings joy and comfort with her... she is the face and the touch and the laugh that hurting and dying people will remember... and her compassion and empathy for them in their pain, is so intense that she remember them, too... every one of them.
yet, she also is needed elsewhere... and in order to be effective, she has to learn when to release that pain... that burden... to God. He can handle it... it's like this... although she can put her hand against someone's wound to stop the "bleeding," at some point she has to let go and let Him do the surgery... let him heal the wounds both physically and emotionally for so many people she comes into contact with...
her pain... her hurt... her fears... they make her the woman she is today. they make her effective and trustworthy and safe for the people God brings into her life. she can gain control of them and harness them for God's glory, or she can live her life held captive in fear, and unable to utilize the abilities God has given her, to her full potential.
in the vulnerability of her tears and frustration, we as her friends and family were able to rally around her. we assured her of the unfailing love of God, and His ability to restore her peace of mind and comfort her in her times of sorrow.
joy and nate m. busted out out their Bibles and pointed out scriptural references about how Christ's perfect love casts out fear, and how the Lord has equipped us to conquer our fears by trusting in his love... in his soveriegnty.
even in death, we have nothing to fear.
at some point, everyone in our group played a part in our effort to try and help ease meagan's pain and restore her joy in who God has created her to be. whether it was through scriptural Truth, combatting her fears... or things our parents taught us that gave us comfort in times of distress... even a comforting hand to reach out and play with her hair... sometimes words from experience of how we've dealt with fear and doubt...
it all added up. it all made a difference.
in the end, meagan's trust in God's faithfulness was renewed, and her confidence in her gift was strengthened.
in her words... "i left and then i came back tonight with a heavy heart, and now i feel like i could float out that door."
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
he who has an ear, let him hear
last night we met for our friday community group. i find it interesting that each time we meet, we seem to become more accustomed to sensing where the Spirit is moving among us... and more eager to see God work among us when that happens.
our group was a bit smaller, as we had a few people out of town and a few more not able to come because of work schedules. we all were eager to see why God had brought a select few to our gathering that night... why he chose a more intimate group setting for that night and what he had planned.
our worship time was amazing, and in my opinion, it always is... we love worshipping together through song. our prayer time though? it never ended. looking back now on what God was doing, the entire night centered around prayer. during our worship time, nate could barely get a song out before someone was led to pray... every area of our gathering was covered in prayer, as were the people there... and it was beautiful... and it seemed neverending. there was just so much on our hearts.
nearing the end of our worship and prayer time, i picked up my bible and flipped it to revelations. i shared with the group what i was reading:
Revelations 3:14-22
"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
i was intrigued that in the "lets wrap it up" book of the bible... the last one God inspired... that he chose to focus first and foremost on encouraging and admonishing the churches listed in the first three chapters. i had never thought about why that was though, and i was a bit perplexed at what the differences in the churches were and the significance of each one.
our worship time was officially over as michael practically shouted (in anticipation of how God had already prepared for this discussion) "you're not going to believe this, but God led me to those verses this last week, and i started studying what the differences in those churches were!" we all freaked out, as it was evident God wanted us discussing this topic, and for a long time we mulled over the verses. our discussion was so uplifting and so encouraging! it morphed into so much about the different areas of our lives and relationships and being hot or cold, not lukewarm... and then into what we're all learning about our giftings (because we're so excited about gifts right now, everything ties back to them).
our discussion took a turn a bit later... to one of humility and brokenness as i brought up the fact that in many situations in the past, i wonder what God could've done and where i perhaps missed his best in a relationship or friendship because i was trying to be God in someone's life... i wondered aloud what would've happened if i could've admitted at those times when i was confused about a situation or feeling inadequate in my place in it, that i was illequipped in my giftings to be everything that a Christian brother or sister needed. in those times i couldve taken someone gifted in discernment or prophecy with me to help restore that brother or sister back to Christ.
i shared that so often i can get focused on how to convince people that their sin is wrong, but forget that our argument is nothing against that sin unless the Holy Spirit first opens someone's eyes to see Truth. it is the Holy Spirit's job to convict someone of their sin, not ours.
as we discussed this topic and gained more insight into this topic of balance in the Body of Christ, and where our different strengths and weaknesses lie... and also how to work together so that we are at all times one Body, complete and efficient in Christ to do his work... faith walked across the room to one in our group that was hurting, and sat down next to her.
faith shared that as we were talking, her heart was beating so loud in her ears, she could barely think straight. she was burdened for her sister in Christ who was hurting, but even more so because she feels inequipped to help her in the ways she needs. faith was confident God had brought this woman into our group for the purpose of healing and restoration, but she was equally as confident that there was someone else in the group that God wanted to use to bring about that healing... and she didn't know who that was.
so, we all gathered around our sister and prayed over her. it was intense... to say the least... and a time where we could all come together and claim Christ's power for our sister in Christ. we were all so humbled and so in awe at what God had done in that time we spent praying over her... and it was evident God's work in her life had just started. we are excited to see how God will bring us all together and show us his plan and purpose in our place in her life and how we can help come alongside her and comfort and encourage her in her healing process.
as we learn and we grow together, we have a chance to go through our growing pains together, too... and in those times when we get a chance to be a part of what God is doing in the lives of the people around us, it is a joyous occasion. our hurting sister on friday night shared her sorrow and her pain with us, and we got a chance to show her unconditional love and comfort her in that.
in those times, we learn... we learn what our place is in each others' lives... we learn how best to use our gifts and work together with each other...
and we see Christ more clearly as he shows us that his strength is made more perfect in our weakness.
so, really... if it perfects his strength, in and among us... is it a weakness at all?
so much more happened on friday night, and each time God brought to mind some new Truth to share or ordained conversations between peopel in our group, it was so characteristic of God just coming in and breaking through our preconceived notions of what he is capable of among us...
eight hours after i arrived for our community group, i left... at 2am.
it felt like two hours.
our group was a bit smaller, as we had a few people out of town and a few more not able to come because of work schedules. we all were eager to see why God had brought a select few to our gathering that night... why he chose a more intimate group setting for that night and what he had planned.
our worship time was amazing, and in my opinion, it always is... we love worshipping together through song. our prayer time though? it never ended. looking back now on what God was doing, the entire night centered around prayer. during our worship time, nate could barely get a song out before someone was led to pray... every area of our gathering was covered in prayer, as were the people there... and it was beautiful... and it seemed neverending. there was just so much on our hearts.
nearing the end of our worship and prayer time, i picked up my bible and flipped it to revelations. i shared with the group what i was reading:
Revelations 3:14-22
"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
i was intrigued that in the "lets wrap it up" book of the bible... the last one God inspired... that he chose to focus first and foremost on encouraging and admonishing the churches listed in the first three chapters. i had never thought about why that was though, and i was a bit perplexed at what the differences in the churches were and the significance of each one.
our worship time was officially over as michael practically shouted (in anticipation of how God had already prepared for this discussion) "you're not going to believe this, but God led me to those verses this last week, and i started studying what the differences in those churches were!" we all freaked out, as it was evident God wanted us discussing this topic, and for a long time we mulled over the verses. our discussion was so uplifting and so encouraging! it morphed into so much about the different areas of our lives and relationships and being hot or cold, not lukewarm... and then into what we're all learning about our giftings (because we're so excited about gifts right now, everything ties back to them).
our discussion took a turn a bit later... to one of humility and brokenness as i brought up the fact that in many situations in the past, i wonder what God could've done and where i perhaps missed his best in a relationship or friendship because i was trying to be God in someone's life... i wondered aloud what would've happened if i could've admitted at those times when i was confused about a situation or feeling inadequate in my place in it, that i was illequipped in my giftings to be everything that a Christian brother or sister needed. in those times i couldve taken someone gifted in discernment or prophecy with me to help restore that brother or sister back to Christ.
i shared that so often i can get focused on how to convince people that their sin is wrong, but forget that our argument is nothing against that sin unless the Holy Spirit first opens someone's eyes to see Truth. it is the Holy Spirit's job to convict someone of their sin, not ours.
as we discussed this topic and gained more insight into this topic of balance in the Body of Christ, and where our different strengths and weaknesses lie... and also how to work together so that we are at all times one Body, complete and efficient in Christ to do his work... faith walked across the room to one in our group that was hurting, and sat down next to her.
faith shared that as we were talking, her heart was beating so loud in her ears, she could barely think straight. she was burdened for her sister in Christ who was hurting, but even more so because she feels inequipped to help her in the ways she needs. faith was confident God had brought this woman into our group for the purpose of healing and restoration, but she was equally as confident that there was someone else in the group that God wanted to use to bring about that healing... and she didn't know who that was.
so, we all gathered around our sister and prayed over her. it was intense... to say the least... and a time where we could all come together and claim Christ's power for our sister in Christ. we were all so humbled and so in awe at what God had done in that time we spent praying over her... and it was evident God's work in her life had just started. we are excited to see how God will bring us all together and show us his plan and purpose in our place in her life and how we can help come alongside her and comfort and encourage her in her healing process.
as we learn and we grow together, we have a chance to go through our growing pains together, too... and in those times when we get a chance to be a part of what God is doing in the lives of the people around us, it is a joyous occasion. our hurting sister on friday night shared her sorrow and her pain with us, and we got a chance to show her unconditional love and comfort her in that.
in those times, we learn... we learn what our place is in each others' lives... we learn how best to use our gifts and work together with each other...
and we see Christ more clearly as he shows us that his strength is made more perfect in our weakness.
so, really... if it perfects his strength, in and among us... is it a weakness at all?
so much more happened on friday night, and each time God brought to mind some new Truth to share or ordained conversations between peopel in our group, it was so characteristic of God just coming in and breaking through our preconceived notions of what he is capable of among us...
eight hours after i arrived for our community group, i left... at 2am.
it felt like two hours.
Friday, March 27, 2009
the gap
there's this gap... one that all of humanity realizes is there.
we don't know how to go about filling it, so we try fitting everything we can think of, into the gap and nothing seems to fit just right. that new car.. that new house.. the newest, greatest ithing..
and nothing every fits quite right.
as a part of the Body of Christ, we try and fill that gap with ministries.. hours spent at a church building.. and even immersing ourself in serving the towns or cities we are in. this is not a futile pursuit... God is glorified in all... but it should be a secondary focus to making sure the people doing the serving are healthy and strong.
as the Body, we have been raised in a Christian culture that says the good Christian lifestyle is one focused on serving outside ourselves. we're to be concerned about outreach to nonChristians, and the band or children's church activities inside the church. but... we miss out on the most important thing:
the Body of Christ... the Christians doing the serving... are getting more comatose everyday.
we're comatose because we arent doing anything that makes us want to snap out of the coma and come alive. we serve in children's church, and we sing on the praise team... we even have church parking lot attendees... and we wonder why we're bored out of our minds and feel useless relationally and in ministry with the Christians around us.
we don't understand our purpose.
we aren't taught our Spiritual Gifts and how to use them to benefit the Christians around us and help THEM come alive, too... and if we aren't taught that, the Body of Christ is nothing but a lifeless Body in a bed in this crazy mixed up world...
we have a function... a purpose that is beautiful, and beyond anything we can even imagine...
we're seeking now... and as we come out of our coma, we're coming alive...
simply by seeking, the Body is waking up and getting some much needed physical therapy... an awareness of the limbs that have been flailing or lifeless for so long...
we're flexing the muscles of our Spiritual gifts, and we're realizing in this community that when we work together, the end result is a dead sprint for the finish line...
where Christ in all his glory, waits.
we don't know how to go about filling it, so we try fitting everything we can think of, into the gap and nothing seems to fit just right. that new car.. that new house.. the newest, greatest ithing..
and nothing every fits quite right.
as a part of the Body of Christ, we try and fill that gap with ministries.. hours spent at a church building.. and even immersing ourself in serving the towns or cities we are in. this is not a futile pursuit... God is glorified in all... but it should be a secondary focus to making sure the people doing the serving are healthy and strong.
as the Body, we have been raised in a Christian culture that says the good Christian lifestyle is one focused on serving outside ourselves. we're to be concerned about outreach to nonChristians, and the band or children's church activities inside the church. but... we miss out on the most important thing:
the Body of Christ... the Christians doing the serving... are getting more comatose everyday.
we're comatose because we arent doing anything that makes us want to snap out of the coma and come alive. we serve in children's church, and we sing on the praise team... we even have church parking lot attendees... and we wonder why we're bored out of our minds and feel useless relationally and in ministry with the Christians around us.
we don't understand our purpose.
we aren't taught our Spiritual Gifts and how to use them to benefit the Christians around us and help THEM come alive, too... and if we aren't taught that, the Body of Christ is nothing but a lifeless Body in a bed in this crazy mixed up world...
we have a function... a purpose that is beautiful, and beyond anything we can even imagine...
we're seeking now... and as we come out of our coma, we're coming alive...
simply by seeking, the Body is waking up and getting some much needed physical therapy... an awareness of the limbs that have been flailing or lifeless for so long...
we're flexing the muscles of our Spiritual gifts, and we're realizing in this community that when we work together, the end result is a dead sprint for the finish line...
where Christ in all his glory, waits.
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