imagine for a moment that you are standing in a beautiful open field. its expanse is awe-inspiring, and the peace and beauty you find there would be enough to lull you into falling asleep on any other day. wildflowers line the horizon, and it seems as if no one but you has ever entered this part of the world.
you close your eyes and the sunlight warms you as it seems to beam through your eyelids. you breathe in the smell of the soil and lush green nature all around you. you are the only person for miles, and you soak in the rest you feel in this field of peace and tranquility.
then... you sense a change.
your relaxed stance quickly tenses as you open your eyes to see a new landscape. the vision of your once peaceful world is now one of darkness. fear engulfs you, and your breathing quickens as you sense that you are no longer alone.
your try to adjust to the darkness, yet your confusion grows as you sense an enemy but can not see it. you consider running, but the thought of being chased seems scarier. you stand... scared and alone... you think of lashing out, but attacking something without knowing its weakness seems worse than just standing alone in the darkness.
your fear increases as the darkness around you fills with malicious sounds. you feel your defeat is near, as your fear of the unknown closes in on your waving strength. you crouch on the ground, with your head buried in your knees and your hands over your ears. you imagine this fear might be worse than an actual attack... it cripples you as you cower in terror.
your mind whirls with a sense of injustice. has anyone ever battled this foe before now? if so, why were you never warned? never warned that your peaceful field of sunshine and wildflowers could quickly turn into a battleground when you least expected it? if you were warned, you could've stayed alert.
as the noise grows, you cry out for help...
if only you had a light and could see what enemy you faced...
if only you had a shield and weapon to fight with...
if only you had armor for protection if you needed to fight...
if only you had been trained and equipped for the battle...
if only you had been warned that there was a battle.
when it seems fear itself will overcome you, the sound in the darkness is silenced by a loud roar. a blinding white Light illuminates the area aroud you, and the darkness flees from anywhere the Light touches. you glance down, and recognize the green under you is that of your peaceful field...
the sounds in the darkness grow yet again, but the light does not fade. the Light pierces the darkness with words that are new to your ears.
The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Romans 13:12
is it your imagination? did the darkness shrink back further?
more words come, and the darkness explodes in fury as you realize these words are meant for you...
Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Eph 6:10-12
stand? yes... you feel like you can stand. your legs seem weak, but the Light that bathes you and pierces the darkness, has given you new confidence.
the words continue.
Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Eph 6:13-17
your confidence grows as you soak up the power those words seem to have. you wish you had the armor the words spoke of. you crave that feeling of safety.
feeling scared once again, you look down. on the ground in front of you is a sword. you bend down to grab the sword and at the same time, you realize you don't recognize the boots on your feet. they grip the ground better than any others you've ever worn.
your hands grip the sword and you stand upright, feeling a bit taller than you did before. you are clothed in armor as every muscle in your body seems to come alive, ready to fight... ready to face your foe with these weapons... with this strength.
the darkness screams again and you have a new awareness of it. no longer afraid, you stand clothed in armor and gripping your sword in readiness. you see the darkness swirling, and as you gaze around you, you realize there is another Light in the distance...
you wonder if that Light holds a person who has gone through all that you have. the thought overwhelms you, and because you imagine you have been where he is, you shout encouragement through the darkness... just hoping he can hear.
encouragement seems futile, although you remember what it felt like a while ago, to hear the words break through your despair and fear. your muscles tense and you start to run... willing to brave the darkness to see another who might be suffering in fear, gain the strength that you now know.
the Light that was once outside of you, now seems to radiate from beneath your armor as you leap into the darkness...
what the Light does not pierce, your sword quickly takes care of, and your feet claim the ground of the battlefield, as you draw nearer and nearer to the other Light. you stop a short ways off, as more words echo across the battlefield.
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Eph 6:18
you stand, letting those words sink in. you realize this warrior must choose to fight...
it seems like forever, but you fill with a sense of anticipation and suspense as he bends down and picks up his sword. now clothed in armor and radiating Light, he looks around with new awareness, and sees you standing poised and alert beside him. your Light joins with his, and grows in strength as the darkness flees before you.
you both look around, and see another light in the darkness. you tense for battle as your new companion wields his sword for the first time.
the Light pulses around you as you both shout words that have somehow become a part of you...
words that seem to echo through the darkness when nothing else can...
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7
ready for battle, your growing army charges into the darkness...
towards another Light...
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
from nate's perspective...
most of the time i write these blogs from my point of view, but today i read nate mellum's point of view on a note he'd written on facebook about last night's community group. it was so challenging and encouraging to read the wisdom and insight that God gave him, i thought i'd share it.
_______________________________
"Church Decision-making"
Today at work I had a lot of time to sit, read and think.
Last night at Community we had a lot of back and forth on a certain issue, a new issue, a new possible step for the group and Christ's body. At first, to me anyways, it seemed that we were in agreement. I felt empowered by the Spirit, I could see that others felt the same.
It took me a few minutes to realize that not everyone was feeling the same way.
My first reaction to other ideas was...well, nothing. I had no reaction. Because, besides being slightly curious as to what the differing opinions were, I didn't care. I wasn't being unloving, just not as loving as a family should be. I was not embracing how the Spirit could be working on other people. I new what was right, which is a good place to be, but I didn't seek compassion for others because I was so assured. It was brought up at one point, that the body should only make a decision when everyone is in agreement. I didn't give it much thought at the time (mainly because I couldn't think of Scripture that supported either way), and I can't remember what was said afterwards, but my feeling is that it was generally put down.
The church should be in complete agreement (in decision making), God revealed that to me today. (Romans 15:5-6, 1 Cor. 1:10, 2 Cor. 13:11)
In Acts 1:14 and 4:32 it describes the body as being of "one mind" and "of one heart and soul". Someone mentioned this phrase to me last night and I had to step back and look at it. How could we possibly hope to obtain this one-mindedness in our body if we don't seek to be of one accord in decision making? If we take the Scriptural description of the church as a human body: Christ is the head and we are the members (Eph. 1:22-23). I'm going to say that we all seek the head, Christ's will, in our gathering. I believe we do. He guides and leads the body. If we believe that we are all seeking His will, then there must be a reason that Christ compels people in slightly different directions in regards to one decision. To teach us to not do as democracy and the world does: railroad the people that are in the minority, but instead, to love. If the body moved ahead to do something without everyone being in agreement (not necessarily equal in enthusiasm), we would be denying what the Head was telling all of us, as a whole. Consequently, we wouldn't be able to function to our full potential as a body. In the human body sense, the legs may be walking in two different directions. (Being complete agreement even eliminates gossip and bitterness.)
John describes God as love. 1 John 4:8: "...God is love." In order to love there must be others to love. God is love, because God is a communal being. The Trinity is the perfect image of what the church should be like, in a relational sense. God, Jesus, and the Spirit, all have different functions and are in a sense, different. But they are of one mind. One being, three aspects. They are in complete agreement all the time, they do not disagree. (John 17:20-21). The more unified the church becomes, the more like the Trinity we become.
"But how is it possible for humans to reach complete agreement...we're human?" Because we are lead by the Divine being, the ultimate high priest, our head, Christ. If we don't all agree, and then move forward, we deny His authority and ability to lead.
-Nate
p.s. As a side note...I found it very neat about how we handled the difference in opinions. Despite not accepting as a group that we should be in complete agreement, I felt, we embraced those that were being lead otherwise. Because of our love for each other, we were not at ease until we had sought out those that were hurting! And by the end of the night, as far as I know, we were in agreement! We were led by Christ yet again; our love for each other "saved" us, so to speak from hurt feelings.
_______________________________
"Church Decision-making"
Today at work I had a lot of time to sit, read and think.
Last night at Community we had a lot of back and forth on a certain issue, a new issue, a new possible step for the group and Christ's body. At first, to me anyways, it seemed that we were in agreement. I felt empowered by the Spirit, I could see that others felt the same.
It took me a few minutes to realize that not everyone was feeling the same way.
My first reaction to other ideas was...well, nothing. I had no reaction. Because, besides being slightly curious as to what the differing opinions were, I didn't care. I wasn't being unloving, just not as loving as a family should be. I was not embracing how the Spirit could be working on other people. I new what was right, which is a good place to be, but I didn't seek compassion for others because I was so assured. It was brought up at one point, that the body should only make a decision when everyone is in agreement. I didn't give it much thought at the time (mainly because I couldn't think of Scripture that supported either way), and I can't remember what was said afterwards, but my feeling is that it was generally put down.
The church should be in complete agreement (in decision making), God revealed that to me today. (Romans 15:5-6, 1 Cor. 1:10, 2 Cor. 13:11)
In Acts 1:14 and 4:32 it describes the body as being of "one mind" and "of one heart and soul". Someone mentioned this phrase to me last night and I had to step back and look at it. How could we possibly hope to obtain this one-mindedness in our body if we don't seek to be of one accord in decision making? If we take the Scriptural description of the church as a human body: Christ is the head and we are the members (Eph. 1:22-23). I'm going to say that we all seek the head, Christ's will, in our gathering. I believe we do. He guides and leads the body. If we believe that we are all seeking His will, then there must be a reason that Christ compels people in slightly different directions in regards to one decision. To teach us to not do as democracy and the world does: railroad the people that are in the minority, but instead, to love. If the body moved ahead to do something without everyone being in agreement (not necessarily equal in enthusiasm), we would be denying what the Head was telling all of us, as a whole. Consequently, we wouldn't be able to function to our full potential as a body. In the human body sense, the legs may be walking in two different directions. (Being complete agreement even eliminates gossip and bitterness.)
John describes God as love. 1 John 4:8: "...God is love." In order to love there must be others to love. God is love, because God is a communal being. The Trinity is the perfect image of what the church should be like, in a relational sense. God, Jesus, and the Spirit, all have different functions and are in a sense, different. But they are of one mind. One being, three aspects. They are in complete agreement all the time, they do not disagree. (John 17:20-21). The more unified the church becomes, the more like the Trinity we become.
"But how is it possible for humans to reach complete agreement...we're human?" Because we are lead by the Divine being, the ultimate high priest, our head, Christ. If we don't all agree, and then move forward, we deny His authority and ability to lead.
-Nate
p.s. As a side note...I found it very neat about how we handled the difference in opinions. Despite not accepting as a group that we should be in complete agreement, I felt, we embraced those that were being lead otherwise. Because of our love for each other, we were not at ease until we had sought out those that were hurting! And by the end of the night, as far as I know, we were in agreement! We were led by Christ yet again; our love for each other "saved" us, so to speak from hurt feelings.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
find Him in the valley...
last night at community, one of our younger girls, marissa collins, said something that caught my attention. she said every year she can point out a time when she will experience extreme joy and extreme depression... during and after a summer camp she usually goes to.
as she explained her statement, i was filled with sadness at the depth and emotion (from personal experience) that her words held. marissa said each year she goes to summer camp, and is filled with excitement as she spends time with other believers who have left to the same camp as her to spend time away from the real world connecting with God on a level she doesn't usually experience during the rest of the year. she followed up her excited reverie with a sigh, and said "but then we go back home... things go back to normal life. people struggle with sin and sadness and just all the normal stuff that doesnt happen at camp."
i realized marissa's words rang with the sadness and longing we all have felt at one time or another. we've all gone to a camp or womens retreat or conference, and gotten to have those "mountaintop experiences" with other people who we unite in purpose with to seek after God for that time.
when marissa was done sharing, something i've always thought but never really spoke of kinda became clear in my head, and i shared it with the group.
as the Body of Christ grows stronger and more healthy, i dont believe life will be lived today on "the mountaintop" and tomorrow "in the valley" (if you put it in the churchy terms we've all heard so many times)... not to the extreme, at least. i believe it will be lived on level ground... in community with one another. with community surrounding us, we have the support and the strength that we need in this life that is so hard to handle sometimes.
marissa's sentiments about her sadness in leaving camp were tied to the people she left behind... the community she had been a part of, and the emptiness she felt when she realized she was going back to the real world where she didnt have that. she knew she would be met with loneliness and that emptiness that just seems to consume us all when we feel alone or need someone to encourage us and challenge us to focus on Christ and what he is doing rather than the distractions of this world.
i would submit to you that God is so often not on that perpetual mountaintop... but rather, that he resides in the valley... the place where we are challenged in our faith and spurred on in our walk with him. for many in our community group here in reno, our "valleys" are the days between when we see each other and when we meet to encourage and comfort and invest in one another... and our "mountaintop experiences" are so often and so deeply rooted in what Christ is teaching us and leading us towards, that the valleys dont seem so bad... they don't seem like a far drop from the mountaintop.
on the mountaintop (our times of community and sharing life together), we just get a better view... a better perspective from a higher elevation... of what the valley looks like, and what God is doing in us there. we're learning to look for God in the valleys... in the places where he challenges us to leave our comfort zones and seek more of Him in new and fresh ways.
this week i'm learning that community means the Christian walk isn't an emotional rollercoaster... not a yoyo of excitement and then inevitable depression when that excitement wears off... it's a stable and driving force that God uses to dispell loneliness, combat insecurity, and make us aware of our strengths and weakness so we can have someone else come along side us and help support us through the hard times.
geographically in america, the physical valleys we have here are some of the most beautiful places in the world to visit. people travel across continents to walk across the lush beauty of a valley of green grass, rolling fields of wildflowers and hanging trees.
isnt it ironic (if we're relating these valleys to Christian terms) that life in the valley is kept alive - and sustained - by runoff from those mountaintops? hmmm.
if Christ creates the valleys on this earth with so much creativity and beauty, why did we every start thinking it was a bad thing to be in one?
as she explained her statement, i was filled with sadness at the depth and emotion (from personal experience) that her words held. marissa said each year she goes to summer camp, and is filled with excitement as she spends time with other believers who have left to the same camp as her to spend time away from the real world connecting with God on a level she doesn't usually experience during the rest of the year. she followed up her excited reverie with a sigh, and said "but then we go back home... things go back to normal life. people struggle with sin and sadness and just all the normal stuff that doesnt happen at camp."
i realized marissa's words rang with the sadness and longing we all have felt at one time or another. we've all gone to a camp or womens retreat or conference, and gotten to have those "mountaintop experiences" with other people who we unite in purpose with to seek after God for that time.
when marissa was done sharing, something i've always thought but never really spoke of kinda became clear in my head, and i shared it with the group.
as the Body of Christ grows stronger and more healthy, i dont believe life will be lived today on "the mountaintop" and tomorrow "in the valley" (if you put it in the churchy terms we've all heard so many times)... not to the extreme, at least. i believe it will be lived on level ground... in community with one another. with community surrounding us, we have the support and the strength that we need in this life that is so hard to handle sometimes.
marissa's sentiments about her sadness in leaving camp were tied to the people she left behind... the community she had been a part of, and the emptiness she felt when she realized she was going back to the real world where she didnt have that. she knew she would be met with loneliness and that emptiness that just seems to consume us all when we feel alone or need someone to encourage us and challenge us to focus on Christ and what he is doing rather than the distractions of this world.
i would submit to you that God is so often not on that perpetual mountaintop... but rather, that he resides in the valley... the place where we are challenged in our faith and spurred on in our walk with him. for many in our community group here in reno, our "valleys" are the days between when we see each other and when we meet to encourage and comfort and invest in one another... and our "mountaintop experiences" are so often and so deeply rooted in what Christ is teaching us and leading us towards, that the valleys dont seem so bad... they don't seem like a far drop from the mountaintop.
on the mountaintop (our times of community and sharing life together), we just get a better view... a better perspective from a higher elevation... of what the valley looks like, and what God is doing in us there. we're learning to look for God in the valleys... in the places where he challenges us to leave our comfort zones and seek more of Him in new and fresh ways.
this week i'm learning that community means the Christian walk isn't an emotional rollercoaster... not a yoyo of excitement and then inevitable depression when that excitement wears off... it's a stable and driving force that God uses to dispell loneliness, combat insecurity, and make us aware of our strengths and weakness so we can have someone else come along side us and help support us through the hard times.
geographically in america, the physical valleys we have here are some of the most beautiful places in the world to visit. people travel across continents to walk across the lush beauty of a valley of green grass, rolling fields of wildflowers and hanging trees.
isnt it ironic (if we're relating these valleys to Christian terms) that life in the valley is kept alive - and sustained - by runoff from those mountaintops? hmmm.
if Christ creates the valleys on this earth with so much creativity and beauty, why did we every start thinking it was a bad thing to be in one?
Sunday, May 3, 2009
nothing can separate us
to have the ones we love leave us is so hard.
even if it's only for a season, we still desire fellowship with them, and feel the absense of their unique contributions to our daily walks with God when they are gone. in our group, we have a hard time being apart from each other even for a few days inbetween tuesday and friday when we meet each week... so we have lunch and get together for coffee, and set up movie nights... all just for an excuse to share life together.
we crave and protect our time together... as much of it as we can get.
meagan, a precious part of our community, is moving away in the next week or two... and we are having to work really hard not to just kidnap her and keep her here and not let her leave.
we are happy God is opening up new job and school opportunities for her in oregon, but her presence in our lives is priceless, and her maturity in her gifting has been such a beautiful blessing to get to experience the last few months. many of us have known her for years and just recently reconnected with her again, but God's timing was so perfect! intimate and real foundations for lasting friendships and relationship with her were built to the point where NOTHING can separate us in Spirit.
no distance... no geographic change of location will affect our love for her, though. we will miss her daily presense in our lives so much, but we will rejoice with her as we see what amazing things God has in store for her.
Psalm 139: 8-10
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
what a beautiful woman, our meagan is... we love you megs... stay strong!!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
discipleship is like... an oreo cookie
awhile back, on a friday night at community group, we discussed what true discipleship looks like. many of us have had different experiences in the institutional church with discipleship or being mentored by someone, so we came together wanting to know what biblical discipleship looks like.
we came to this conclusion: biblical discipleship is sharing life with someone... not necessarily in scheduled moments to go through a book about God, or reading our Bibles (although that is GREAT!) but rather going through LIFE together and learning through life experience, who God is and who he desires us to be.
it's cool that discipleship isn't just an older person mentoring a young person... it's a two way street.
real and effective discipleship is like an oreo cookie... the mentor and person being mentored are like the two cookies, and the life and experiences they share become all that creamy goodness inbetween... its the best part!
pry those cookies apart, and both come away carrying parts of that filling... parts of those experiences and moments that they've shared, stuck on them.
the one being discipled isn't the only one who is left changed and impacted from that relationship and those times shared... the discipler is changed as well.
now... go get a box of oreos and a glass of milk (i have no cool metaphor for the milk, though) and go share life with a friend...
it'll do The Body of Christ some good.
we came to this conclusion: biblical discipleship is sharing life with someone... not necessarily in scheduled moments to go through a book about God, or reading our Bibles (although that is GREAT!) but rather going through LIFE together and learning through life experience, who God is and who he desires us to be.
it's cool that discipleship isn't just an older person mentoring a young person... it's a two way street.
real and effective discipleship is like an oreo cookie... the mentor and person being mentored are like the two cookies, and the life and experiences they share become all that creamy goodness inbetween... its the best part!
pry those cookies apart, and both come away carrying parts of that filling... parts of those experiences and moments that they've shared, stuck on them.
the one being discipled isn't the only one who is left changed and impacted from that relationship and those times shared... the discipler is changed as well.
now... go get a box of oreos and a glass of milk (i have no cool metaphor for the milk, though) and go share life with a friend...
it'll do The Body of Christ some good.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
our love is LOUD...
Colossians 3:12-17
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
~~~~~
those words are so beautiful they take my breath away... and it's freakin hard to live them out.
~~~~~
those words are so beautiful they take my breath away... and it's freakin hard to live them out.
the denial of self... the death of self... to live in peace and unity... to bear with one another through not only the joy, but the hard times too. the times where the rubberbands that hold our friendships and relationships together, are stretched and tested...
but God is capable of doing so much more than we can even ask or imagine.
Corinthians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
~~~~~
our community group is "feeling the burn" right now...
in the last week i know of many who have roughed it out in relationships or friendship with someone in their life, and thankfully been able to discern that it is not against flesh and blood that we fight... not against people or miscommunication or insecurity or hurt, but rather the one who has come to steal, kill and destroy...
i think we forget sometimes that the enemy waits patiently in the wings for our insecurity, wounds, bitterness, anger or despair to engulf us to the point that he can subtly take ground in the final outcome of those things...
the destruction of relationship and community, where intimacy and vulnerability are nonexistent.
in each situation i have witnessed, heard of, or handled myself in the last week, i have been in awe of the way Christ has made each person aware of the fact that it is a spiritual battle that we fight, and one that is won through vulnerability, openness and intimacy in the relationships that we find are being tested.
through confronting the true battle and "stepping up to bat" so to speak, all of us dealing with trial this last week were able to keep our eyes on the true source of our strength and swing with all our might as we knocked insecurity, miscommunication, doubt, and lies Satan would have us believe, right out of the park!
that that's not the end of the game... not the end of the battle though... after seeing the enemy for what he is, and hitting him with jonathan's bat of TRUTH (like that, jon?), restoration still needs to happen... there is still a part of the race to run... we still need to round the bases, and hard conversations that bring restoration and peace in the end, still need to be had...
last night when we gathered, many of us were exhausted and yet in awe at seeing God so evident in the things we'd been through. even in our exhaustion we were joyous... joyous that we could come together saying that what we are striving for... what we feel God is leading us to... is worth fighting for...
this week, we saw the battle for what it was. it wore us out, but in many ways we were much more prepared and aware of it than we ever wouldve been before... before talking and wrestling with our questions and our doubts, and before sharing life with one another.
i think our discussion last friday about conflict resolution had a big part in the way we each handled the difficult relational issues or hurdles that we had to deal with.
in each battle i heard of that happened with someone in our community, someone else in our community came alongside and encouraged, comforted or supported the person going through it. no one is alone... no one is abandoned. we are a family, and are not ashamed of our tears or our struggles or the fact that we are a raggedy scraggly bunch of kids who dont know what we're doing half the time... but we're trying to figure it out together, and we're learning to love each other through our weaknesses.
where one is weak, others are strong.
this wont be the last time we struggle... this wont be the last time we battle it out...
but the fact that we struggle... that we fight for what is important to us...
it shows that we are alive and kickin...
as joy spoke so beautifully last night in prayer... "our love is LOUD!" and we are sounding the battle cry... the one that shouts "THIS IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR!"
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
fear and those burdens we bear...
tuesday night our community group met, and although there were a few of us who were sick and feeling under the weather, we were eager for fellowship after a weekend apart. for whatever reason, only a few people had been able to meet with each other outside of the group one on one, and we were craving quality time.
as we all arrived, we were expectant of what God would do during that time. we worshipped and prayed, and shared stories from our adventures of the last few days since we'd met, and laughed up a storm as our joy in seeing each other again poured out of us.
it was good times with good people, and just what we all needed.
we discussed some amazing stuff in the Word, prayed for those of us who were sick, and we all loved seeing how God -yet again- drew us closer together. as the night went on, people filtered in and out as usual as we wound down... and then something interesting happened... i got a text.
meagan had left a bit earlier, and shortly after she left she texted me and said she was coming back because she was heavyhearted and realized she needed to share what she was going through instead of trying to deal with it alone.
we started praying.
a short time later, meagan walked in again and sat down on the couch.
(due to the fact that her vulnerability played a huge part of this night, and i would never want to discouage that by sharing it without her knowledge... its important for me to point out that meagan has given me permission to share the details below. okay, thanks. keep reading.)
in tears, meagan shared with the group that she lost her dad when she was 11 or 12. he went into a diabetic coma and collapsed. because of his death, from a young age she has always struggled with her fear of abandonment, and specifically the fear that she may one day lose the rest of her family. at the young age of 20, these fears still plague her...
she shared that her fear in these areas holds her back in many ways, and it paralyzes her ability to just "let go and let God" so to speak. constant fear of the "what if's" in life is a depressing and burdensome load to carry for her. to be able to trust that the ones she loves are in God's capable hands has always been a struggle for her. her fear has poured over into her dreams, and turned into nightmares... and on tuesday she was overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion.
she very literally couldn't keep it all inside anymore...
the previous saturday, for the first time in her life, she had come face to face with a man at the hospital where she works, who was on his death bed in a diabetic coma... just like her dad once was. her fears escalated and poured over from personal fear into confusion about her place at the hospital, and if that was where she was meant to be.
we were able to affirm to her that she is a light in the darkness... in a sorrowful place where she faces pain and discomfort and death... and even miraculous healing, at times... she is the light in that place. God has equipped her with supernatural strength of mind and emotion to be able to handle the sorrow she deals with on a daily basis.
she is the one who walks in a room at that hospital and brings joy and comfort with her... she is the face and the touch and the laugh that hurting and dying people will remember... and her compassion and empathy for them in their pain, is so intense that she remember them, too... every one of them.
yet, she also is needed elsewhere... and in order to be effective, she has to learn when to release that pain... that burden... to God. He can handle it... it's like this... although she can put her hand against someone's wound to stop the "bleeding," at some point she has to let go and let Him do the surgery... let him heal the wounds both physically and emotionally for so many people she comes into contact with...
her pain... her hurt... her fears... they make her the woman she is today. they make her effective and trustworthy and safe for the people God brings into her life. she can gain control of them and harness them for God's glory, or she can live her life held captive in fear, and unable to utilize the abilities God has given her, to her full potential.
in the vulnerability of her tears and frustration, we as her friends and family were able to rally around her. we assured her of the unfailing love of God, and His ability to restore her peace of mind and comfort her in her times of sorrow.
joy and nate m. busted out out their Bibles and pointed out scriptural references about how Christ's perfect love casts out fear, and how the Lord has equipped us to conquer our fears by trusting in his love... in his soveriegnty.
even in death, we have nothing to fear.
at some point, everyone in our group played a part in our effort to try and help ease meagan's pain and restore her joy in who God has created her to be. whether it was through scriptural Truth, combatting her fears... or things our parents taught us that gave us comfort in times of distress... even a comforting hand to reach out and play with her hair... sometimes words from experience of how we've dealt with fear and doubt...
it all added up. it all made a difference.
in the end, meagan's trust in God's faithfulness was renewed, and her confidence in her gift was strengthened.
in her words... "i left and then i came back tonight with a heavy heart, and now i feel like i could float out that door."
as we all arrived, we were expectant of what God would do during that time. we worshipped and prayed, and shared stories from our adventures of the last few days since we'd met, and laughed up a storm as our joy in seeing each other again poured out of us.
it was good times with good people, and just what we all needed.
we discussed some amazing stuff in the Word, prayed for those of us who were sick, and we all loved seeing how God -yet again- drew us closer together. as the night went on, people filtered in and out as usual as we wound down... and then something interesting happened... i got a text.
meagan had left a bit earlier, and shortly after she left she texted me and said she was coming back because she was heavyhearted and realized she needed to share what she was going through instead of trying to deal with it alone.
we started praying.
a short time later, meagan walked in again and sat down on the couch.
(due to the fact that her vulnerability played a huge part of this night, and i would never want to discouage that by sharing it without her knowledge... its important for me to point out that meagan has given me permission to share the details below. okay, thanks. keep reading.)
in tears, meagan shared with the group that she lost her dad when she was 11 or 12. he went into a diabetic coma and collapsed. because of his death, from a young age she has always struggled with her fear of abandonment, and specifically the fear that she may one day lose the rest of her family. at the young age of 20, these fears still plague her...
she shared that her fear in these areas holds her back in many ways, and it paralyzes her ability to just "let go and let God" so to speak. constant fear of the "what if's" in life is a depressing and burdensome load to carry for her. to be able to trust that the ones she loves are in God's capable hands has always been a struggle for her. her fear has poured over into her dreams, and turned into nightmares... and on tuesday she was overwhelmed to the point of exhaustion.
she very literally couldn't keep it all inside anymore...
the previous saturday, for the first time in her life, she had come face to face with a man at the hospital where she works, who was on his death bed in a diabetic coma... just like her dad once was. her fears escalated and poured over from personal fear into confusion about her place at the hospital, and if that was where she was meant to be.
we were able to affirm to her that she is a light in the darkness... in a sorrowful place where she faces pain and discomfort and death... and even miraculous healing, at times... she is the light in that place. God has equipped her with supernatural strength of mind and emotion to be able to handle the sorrow she deals with on a daily basis.
she is the one who walks in a room at that hospital and brings joy and comfort with her... she is the face and the touch and the laugh that hurting and dying people will remember... and her compassion and empathy for them in their pain, is so intense that she remember them, too... every one of them.
yet, she also is needed elsewhere... and in order to be effective, she has to learn when to release that pain... that burden... to God. He can handle it... it's like this... although she can put her hand against someone's wound to stop the "bleeding," at some point she has to let go and let Him do the surgery... let him heal the wounds both physically and emotionally for so many people she comes into contact with...
her pain... her hurt... her fears... they make her the woman she is today. they make her effective and trustworthy and safe for the people God brings into her life. she can gain control of them and harness them for God's glory, or she can live her life held captive in fear, and unable to utilize the abilities God has given her, to her full potential.
in the vulnerability of her tears and frustration, we as her friends and family were able to rally around her. we assured her of the unfailing love of God, and His ability to restore her peace of mind and comfort her in her times of sorrow.
joy and nate m. busted out out their Bibles and pointed out scriptural references about how Christ's perfect love casts out fear, and how the Lord has equipped us to conquer our fears by trusting in his love... in his soveriegnty.
even in death, we have nothing to fear.
at some point, everyone in our group played a part in our effort to try and help ease meagan's pain and restore her joy in who God has created her to be. whether it was through scriptural Truth, combatting her fears... or things our parents taught us that gave us comfort in times of distress... even a comforting hand to reach out and play with her hair... sometimes words from experience of how we've dealt with fear and doubt...
it all added up. it all made a difference.
in the end, meagan's trust in God's faithfulness was renewed, and her confidence in her gift was strengthened.
in her words... "i left and then i came back tonight with a heavy heart, and now i feel like i could float out that door."
Saturday, March 28, 2009
he who has an ear, let him hear
last night we met for our friday community group. i find it interesting that each time we meet, we seem to become more accustomed to sensing where the Spirit is moving among us... and more eager to see God work among us when that happens.
our group was a bit smaller, as we had a few people out of town and a few more not able to come because of work schedules. we all were eager to see why God had brought a select few to our gathering that night... why he chose a more intimate group setting for that night and what he had planned.
our worship time was amazing, and in my opinion, it always is... we love worshipping together through song. our prayer time though? it never ended. looking back now on what God was doing, the entire night centered around prayer. during our worship time, nate could barely get a song out before someone was led to pray... every area of our gathering was covered in prayer, as were the people there... and it was beautiful... and it seemed neverending. there was just so much on our hearts.
nearing the end of our worship and prayer time, i picked up my bible and flipped it to revelations. i shared with the group what i was reading:
Revelations 3:14-22
"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
i was intrigued that in the "lets wrap it up" book of the bible... the last one God inspired... that he chose to focus first and foremost on encouraging and admonishing the churches listed in the first three chapters. i had never thought about why that was though, and i was a bit perplexed at what the differences in the churches were and the significance of each one.
our worship time was officially over as michael practically shouted (in anticipation of how God had already prepared for this discussion) "you're not going to believe this, but God led me to those verses this last week, and i started studying what the differences in those churches were!" we all freaked out, as it was evident God wanted us discussing this topic, and for a long time we mulled over the verses. our discussion was so uplifting and so encouraging! it morphed into so much about the different areas of our lives and relationships and being hot or cold, not lukewarm... and then into what we're all learning about our giftings (because we're so excited about gifts right now, everything ties back to them).
our discussion took a turn a bit later... to one of humility and brokenness as i brought up the fact that in many situations in the past, i wonder what God could've done and where i perhaps missed his best in a relationship or friendship because i was trying to be God in someone's life... i wondered aloud what would've happened if i could've admitted at those times when i was confused about a situation or feeling inadequate in my place in it, that i was illequipped in my giftings to be everything that a Christian brother or sister needed. in those times i couldve taken someone gifted in discernment or prophecy with me to help restore that brother or sister back to Christ.
i shared that so often i can get focused on how to convince people that their sin is wrong, but forget that our argument is nothing against that sin unless the Holy Spirit first opens someone's eyes to see Truth. it is the Holy Spirit's job to convict someone of their sin, not ours.
as we discussed this topic and gained more insight into this topic of balance in the Body of Christ, and where our different strengths and weaknesses lie... and also how to work together so that we are at all times one Body, complete and efficient in Christ to do his work... faith walked across the room to one in our group that was hurting, and sat down next to her.
faith shared that as we were talking, her heart was beating so loud in her ears, she could barely think straight. she was burdened for her sister in Christ who was hurting, but even more so because she feels inequipped to help her in the ways she needs. faith was confident God had brought this woman into our group for the purpose of healing and restoration, but she was equally as confident that there was someone else in the group that God wanted to use to bring about that healing... and she didn't know who that was.
so, we all gathered around our sister and prayed over her. it was intense... to say the least... and a time where we could all come together and claim Christ's power for our sister in Christ. we were all so humbled and so in awe at what God had done in that time we spent praying over her... and it was evident God's work in her life had just started. we are excited to see how God will bring us all together and show us his plan and purpose in our place in her life and how we can help come alongside her and comfort and encourage her in her healing process.
as we learn and we grow together, we have a chance to go through our growing pains together, too... and in those times when we get a chance to be a part of what God is doing in the lives of the people around us, it is a joyous occasion. our hurting sister on friday night shared her sorrow and her pain with us, and we got a chance to show her unconditional love and comfort her in that.
in those times, we learn... we learn what our place is in each others' lives... we learn how best to use our gifts and work together with each other...
and we see Christ more clearly as he shows us that his strength is made more perfect in our weakness.
so, really... if it perfects his strength, in and among us... is it a weakness at all?
so much more happened on friday night, and each time God brought to mind some new Truth to share or ordained conversations between peopel in our group, it was so characteristic of God just coming in and breaking through our preconceived notions of what he is capable of among us...
eight hours after i arrived for our community group, i left... at 2am.
it felt like two hours.
our group was a bit smaller, as we had a few people out of town and a few more not able to come because of work schedules. we all were eager to see why God had brought a select few to our gathering that night... why he chose a more intimate group setting for that night and what he had planned.
our worship time was amazing, and in my opinion, it always is... we love worshipping together through song. our prayer time though? it never ended. looking back now on what God was doing, the entire night centered around prayer. during our worship time, nate could barely get a song out before someone was led to pray... every area of our gathering was covered in prayer, as were the people there... and it was beautiful... and it seemed neverending. there was just so much on our hearts.
nearing the end of our worship and prayer time, i picked up my bible and flipped it to revelations. i shared with the group what i was reading:
Revelations 3:14-22
"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:
These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. 15I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! 16So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. 18I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. 19Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. 20Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. 21To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."
i was intrigued that in the "lets wrap it up" book of the bible... the last one God inspired... that he chose to focus first and foremost on encouraging and admonishing the churches listed in the first three chapters. i had never thought about why that was though, and i was a bit perplexed at what the differences in the churches were and the significance of each one.
our worship time was officially over as michael practically shouted (in anticipation of how God had already prepared for this discussion) "you're not going to believe this, but God led me to those verses this last week, and i started studying what the differences in those churches were!" we all freaked out, as it was evident God wanted us discussing this topic, and for a long time we mulled over the verses. our discussion was so uplifting and so encouraging! it morphed into so much about the different areas of our lives and relationships and being hot or cold, not lukewarm... and then into what we're all learning about our giftings (because we're so excited about gifts right now, everything ties back to them).
our discussion took a turn a bit later... to one of humility and brokenness as i brought up the fact that in many situations in the past, i wonder what God could've done and where i perhaps missed his best in a relationship or friendship because i was trying to be God in someone's life... i wondered aloud what would've happened if i could've admitted at those times when i was confused about a situation or feeling inadequate in my place in it, that i was illequipped in my giftings to be everything that a Christian brother or sister needed. in those times i couldve taken someone gifted in discernment or prophecy with me to help restore that brother or sister back to Christ.
i shared that so often i can get focused on how to convince people that their sin is wrong, but forget that our argument is nothing against that sin unless the Holy Spirit first opens someone's eyes to see Truth. it is the Holy Spirit's job to convict someone of their sin, not ours.
as we discussed this topic and gained more insight into this topic of balance in the Body of Christ, and where our different strengths and weaknesses lie... and also how to work together so that we are at all times one Body, complete and efficient in Christ to do his work... faith walked across the room to one in our group that was hurting, and sat down next to her.
faith shared that as we were talking, her heart was beating so loud in her ears, she could barely think straight. she was burdened for her sister in Christ who was hurting, but even more so because she feels inequipped to help her in the ways she needs. faith was confident God had brought this woman into our group for the purpose of healing and restoration, but she was equally as confident that there was someone else in the group that God wanted to use to bring about that healing... and she didn't know who that was.
so, we all gathered around our sister and prayed over her. it was intense... to say the least... and a time where we could all come together and claim Christ's power for our sister in Christ. we were all so humbled and so in awe at what God had done in that time we spent praying over her... and it was evident God's work in her life had just started. we are excited to see how God will bring us all together and show us his plan and purpose in our place in her life and how we can help come alongside her and comfort and encourage her in her healing process.
as we learn and we grow together, we have a chance to go through our growing pains together, too... and in those times when we get a chance to be a part of what God is doing in the lives of the people around us, it is a joyous occasion. our hurting sister on friday night shared her sorrow and her pain with us, and we got a chance to show her unconditional love and comfort her in that.
in those times, we learn... we learn what our place is in each others' lives... we learn how best to use our gifts and work together with each other...
and we see Christ more clearly as he shows us that his strength is made more perfect in our weakness.
so, really... if it perfects his strength, in and among us... is it a weakness at all?
so much more happened on friday night, and each time God brought to mind some new Truth to share or ordained conversations between peopel in our group, it was so characteristic of God just coming in and breaking through our preconceived notions of what he is capable of among us...
eight hours after i arrived for our community group, i left... at 2am.
it felt like two hours.
Friday, March 27, 2009
the gap
there's this gap... one that all of humanity realizes is there.
we don't know how to go about filling it, so we try fitting everything we can think of, into the gap and nothing seems to fit just right. that new car.. that new house.. the newest, greatest ithing..
and nothing every fits quite right.
as a part of the Body of Christ, we try and fill that gap with ministries.. hours spent at a church building.. and even immersing ourself in serving the towns or cities we are in. this is not a futile pursuit... God is glorified in all... but it should be a secondary focus to making sure the people doing the serving are healthy and strong.
as the Body, we have been raised in a Christian culture that says the good Christian lifestyle is one focused on serving outside ourselves. we're to be concerned about outreach to nonChristians, and the band or children's church activities inside the church. but... we miss out on the most important thing:
the Body of Christ... the Christians doing the serving... are getting more comatose everyday.
we're comatose because we arent doing anything that makes us want to snap out of the coma and come alive. we serve in children's church, and we sing on the praise team... we even have church parking lot attendees... and we wonder why we're bored out of our minds and feel useless relationally and in ministry with the Christians around us.
we don't understand our purpose.
we aren't taught our Spiritual Gifts and how to use them to benefit the Christians around us and help THEM come alive, too... and if we aren't taught that, the Body of Christ is nothing but a lifeless Body in a bed in this crazy mixed up world...
we have a function... a purpose that is beautiful, and beyond anything we can even imagine...
we're seeking now... and as we come out of our coma, we're coming alive...
simply by seeking, the Body is waking up and getting some much needed physical therapy... an awareness of the limbs that have been flailing or lifeless for so long...
we're flexing the muscles of our Spiritual gifts, and we're realizing in this community that when we work together, the end result is a dead sprint for the finish line...
where Christ in all his glory, waits.
we don't know how to go about filling it, so we try fitting everything we can think of, into the gap and nothing seems to fit just right. that new car.. that new house.. the newest, greatest ithing..
and nothing every fits quite right.
as a part of the Body of Christ, we try and fill that gap with ministries.. hours spent at a church building.. and even immersing ourself in serving the towns or cities we are in. this is not a futile pursuit... God is glorified in all... but it should be a secondary focus to making sure the people doing the serving are healthy and strong.
as the Body, we have been raised in a Christian culture that says the good Christian lifestyle is one focused on serving outside ourselves. we're to be concerned about outreach to nonChristians, and the band or children's church activities inside the church. but... we miss out on the most important thing:
the Body of Christ... the Christians doing the serving... are getting more comatose everyday.
we're comatose because we arent doing anything that makes us want to snap out of the coma and come alive. we serve in children's church, and we sing on the praise team... we even have church parking lot attendees... and we wonder why we're bored out of our minds and feel useless relationally and in ministry with the Christians around us.
we don't understand our purpose.
we aren't taught our Spiritual Gifts and how to use them to benefit the Christians around us and help THEM come alive, too... and if we aren't taught that, the Body of Christ is nothing but a lifeless Body in a bed in this crazy mixed up world...
we have a function... a purpose that is beautiful, and beyond anything we can even imagine...
we're seeking now... and as we come out of our coma, we're coming alive...
simply by seeking, the Body is waking up and getting some much needed physical therapy... an awareness of the limbs that have been flailing or lifeless for so long...
we're flexing the muscles of our Spiritual gifts, and we're realizing in this community that when we work together, the end result is a dead sprint for the finish line...
where Christ in all his glory, waits.
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